Life Then… Life Now


When we’re young, our perspective on life is shallow, as are we, in a sense. What we learn as we grow; in age and mindfulness, we also begin to gain our depth and dimension. For most, it’s just learning life’s lessons… love, money, security, etc. But for those of us who are or will become ill, life has different lessons for us; sympathy, pity, denial, anger, empathy, emptiness…
We look at things quite differently now. Those rose colored glasses have long been removed, although we like to put them on for reprieve on occasions. We now see life clearly… all too clearly.
The things that seemed once so important to us no longer are. Our needs far outweigh our wants, and material things are pushed to the wayside. We no longer want huge houses or fancy cars. We just need a decent (and peaceful) roof over our head to call home and a reliable vehicle to get us to Dr appointments and such. Going out to fancy events, no longer appeal to us. In fact, they make us anxious if nothing more. Big gatherings become small, long outings become short, and exciting vactions become daunting… this is our life now. Our world is small, quiet, comfortable, and simply that… our own lil‘ world. It’s full of comfy blankets and PJ’s, coffee to wake us and tea to soothe us, good books and/or our favorite TV/movies, quite time full of reflection, and our sanctuary houses all of these things, here we are safe…

Beyond those four walls is everything else… the noise, chaos, and others looking at us with disbelief. For we are no longer human to some. Those who once looked at us with love, kindness, honor… now seem to want to cast us aside. So we may see their true colors, where once we did not, because those glasses, I aforementioned, have been knocked off of our faces one too many times.
Life once seemed so hopeful, love was always thought to last a lifetime, and our outlook on health was non-existent. We were still able to get over that cold in a week or so, and that nasty bruise disappeared within days, and scratches were merely noticed. Life was simple, we were young, and the world was ours. Only we didn’t really know what the world had to offer… not the one we’ve come to know. I’m not saying love can’t last, or that the world is evil… but when you live with an invisible illness, you start to feel invisible yourself. People/Dr’s don’t see you anymore. They see nothing, nothing but our complaining about something they can not see. So, we stop… we stop complaining and begin to keep it all to ourselves, hidden inside. Then comes the isolation. Which is the worst thing for us! We try to find comfort within and surround ourselves with the lil’ things that help us get through our long, unending days.
As we get older, we do get wiser. We see things as they truly are. We just have to find a way and choose to appreciate the good in life. It’s available to us! Find our worth. It’s still there… isn’t it? No matter what we hear, or has been said about us, know that we are worthy, of love, of friendship, and of honor… always!
And please know this…
You are not alone! Love you all 💜💋MJ
‘ FIBRO WARRIOR, My New Normal’
https://www.facebook.com/FIBROWarriorMNN/