Ever Changing

Me, when it all began…

I haven’t had a chance to really just LIVE. I’ve thought about my life constantly, trying to figure out how to navigate through it, with each thing I’ve endured. Abuse (molestation/emotional), obstacles, disappointments, losses, and of course, my illness. If I had known what was wrong with me long ago, from the beginning, things could have been different, I’m sure of that. Different good, who knows, but different none the less.

If I continued to look back, wishing that things could have turned out more positively, I would never enjoy anything. It’s been a long journey, but I’m learning to let the past stay where it is, little by little. That I cannot change it, or the people involved. I can only forgive, accept, and find peace within myself. I’m not saying things won’t crop up occasionally, of course they will and they do, but I can say that I am a better person for learning to let it all go.

This has taken me decades… I’m 48yrs old now, and I have no idea what kind of timeline I have left. I can only make the best of whatever it is, and appreciate it. Finding the good that’s still there, making amends whenever needed, and enjoying the little things even more. Realizing that you cannot change others, but you can change how you perceive them, and on occasion, that’s all you really need; just a new perspective.

I work hard on myself, my FWmnn, and my want to have good relationships; with my loved ones. On occasion I’m overwhelmed, distracted, and just simply too tired and in pain, but I still try to give it my best. In others eyes, that may not be enough, but we cannot count on them to react the way we’d like. That’s just not practical, or logical. None of us think or feel exactly alike, so expecting that from someone, is just a let down waiting to happen, I promise you.

So, all you can actually do is your BEST. That will have to be enough. Stop blaming yourself for everything. Each encounter you have, has one our more personalities envolved, and every outcome will be different. If you take that same conversation and replace just one personality, just one, then the outcome will never be the same. If you realize and accept this reasoning, you will find some relief, and even, some happiness.

You are responsible for youself. If you know you are doing the right thing, have the resolution to stand by your decisions. We are all imperfect beings, so we all make mistakes. Spend less time pointing fingers and more time on improving yourself. You will be a happier “You“, even if no one else changes. I can tell you this from experience.

Love yourself first! Yes, as selfish as that sounds, it is the right thing to do. Then everything else will eventually fall into place; seem brighter, easier, and much more pleasant.

*On a side note,
I had just attended my Palm Springs High School 30yr Class Reunion. I was excited, yet having some trepidation, thinking I may be too overwhelmed by it all. I think I’ve healed my mind and soul so much, that I had the confidence and courage to just be me. Needless to say, I enjoyed myself immensely. I had amazing conversations with old, as well as new friends; I made that night. My Love Bill and I went with Mona, my best friend from high school, whom I have remained friends with over all of these years. I was lucky to have her in my life then, and even now. Never an argument or disagreement between us, just friendship, love, and respect. We all enjoyed ourselves, and I’m so happy we went; although I’m paying for it still now. So damn tired and aching, but so worth it!

Enjoy life, in anyway you can. We’ll never know when our last day is near, until that moment comes. Make your existence count, even if it’s in the smallest of ways.

You are not alone… and neither am I!
Love you all πŸ’œπŸ’‹ MJ

FIBRO WARRIOR, My New Normal

https://www.facebook.com/FIBROWarriorMNN/

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My Heart Aches…

I’m extremely sensitive to these tragedies, it breaks me down at times. This is one of those times…

This massacre was very close to home. Just a 3 1/2 hour drive for us, when we visit for a few days to just get away… 

My heart goes out to all of those impacted by this horrific tragedy. Friends, family, lives lost, many injured, both physically and mentally. Sunday was unnerving… heart wrenching. I watched it unfold from afar, as a friend reached out from Vegas for help, asking for info on the shooting from the outside looking in.

We fear,

The unknown.

Tragedy strikes,

Twisting, turning,

Hearts torn, 

Souls damaged.

Falling further,

Darker, deeper,

Into abyss.

Wake up,

Eyes opened,

Crimson tides,

Ever flowing.

Too much,

Too many,

Too often.

Enough! 

Daylight came, 

Darkness prevailed.

Yet…

There’s light,

Tiny reflections.

Our humanity,

Still within.

Hands, hearts,

Reaching, holding,

Reminding us,

There’s hope.

There is,

Still hope…

-MJ Aragon 

This is dedicated to my sweet friend Mary Kennedy. I’m here if you need me. My heart goes out to you πŸ’ž

You are not alone… and neither am I!

Love you all πŸ’œπŸ’‹MJ 

FIBRO WARRIORMy New Normal 

https://www.facebook.com/FIBROWarriorMNN/

Broken, yet Beautiful…

We are broken, yet beautiful… 

Beautiful expressions, 

of whom we once were,

ever evolving within,

art, music, literature.

Indeed fractured

yet strong, so resilient, 

filled with emotion.

Hearts on our sleeves,

too huge to camouflage, 

beneath our flesh.

Vulnerable platforms, 

purging ourselves,

of what lies within.

Imperfect beings, 

Hearts too full, 

Feelings so raw, 

Minds still misunderstood…

MJ Aragon

You are not alone

and
neither am I! 

Love
you all πŸ’œπŸ’‹MJ 
FIBRO WARRIOR, My New Normal link: 

https://www.facebook.com/FIBROWarriorMNN/

Our Life is Filled with Half Days

I came across this question, on another group I admin for. They asked, “Does anyone else have half days?”Meaning they run out of energy after only a few hours of being up/awake.

The spoon theory really comes in to effect with this, and this is my take away from it. We have to ration ourselves… decide what’s most important to accomplish each day, knowing our reserve is low. Do I take a shower, or do I do laundry, or dishes, or clean, or run errands, or decide to eat at a restaurant or at home; if I go to a restaurant, I’ll have to do some driving but no cooking or clean up, if I eat at home, I’ll have to cook and then I may be too tired to wash all of the dishes, so maybe I’ll just make soup, that’s easy enough; so then maybe I’ll have some energy left to read a book, nope, the book is too heavy and my hands hurt, so maybe I’ll just listen to an audio book or music. Everything we do, no matter how simple it may seem, steals a lil bit of energy from us, so shaving in the shower may have to wait, because you’ll need the energy to wash your hair. Yes, those minor things have become less than minor for us. Something the average person could not ever comprehend. 

So if you need that nap, take it, our bodies need it, and we all know that sleep, REAL sleep, is so very damn hard to come by! Never feel guilty for what you can or can’t do! We each have our own limits, and this illness has six stages. So, you do “You” the best you know how! We are stronger than we appear, and our strengths come in many forms, we just have to navigate through them a lil more creatively πŸ’œ
Apologies, that turned into a bit of a rant, Haha! πŸ¦‹

You are not alone! Love you all πŸ’žπŸ’‹ MJ
Christine Miseradino’s article The Spoon Theory: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com

I share her article on my podcast, here is the link for Episode #25 “The Spoon Theory” on YouTube: 

FIBRO WARRIOR, My New Normal 

https://www.facebook.com/FIBROWarriorMNN/

Climate Changing

Both politically and environmentally, our climate has changed. If you deny global warming, you have to ask yourself “Why?” If you think that it’s not your job to help those in need, again ask yourself “Why?” I love helping others, it’s what I do, and I do it gladly. Doesn’t it feel good to help a friend in need, or to clean up your neighborhood, or to help educate others? The answer is most likely a resounding “Yes!” Doing good deeds, give us endorphins, and we all know what a great feeling that can be.

I am in fear for our future. More so, my childrens and grandchildrens future. What will be left for them? Will our government make things even worse than they already are, will people kill each other over their beliefs even more freely, will Mother Nature have her way, and finally destroy us all? It’s not unlikely! Fires, earthquakes, floods, tornados, hurricanes… Is this not a clear warning that we need to get our shit together!?! We can all make a difference, and yes it’s a small difference if only one person chooses to… but, if we all try just a lil more fervently, we can at least put a few speed bumps in the middle of what is happening to our world. We are all accountable for what has become of this big blue marble, ALL of us! If we continue to turn a blind eye, and think to ourselves, “This doesnt impact me. or, “What is my effort worth? or, “Im just one person, thats not going to make any difference!, you are sadly mistaken! It does impact YOU, your EFFORT is worth Saving Lives, and yes, ONE person will make a difference; because each ONE adds up to many

I avoided the news, and politics, most of my life; because they weigh heavily on me. I take too much on, and that eventually impacts my health. I worry, a lot… about everyone, and everything! So it is important that I take these issues on with ease. But, right now, it’s NOT about me, it’s about my family and friends all over the world, dealing with disasters both environmentally and politically! I’m in heartbreak right now over our countries state of being. The ugliness that is erupting from all sides is deplorable! And yes, some are light years WORSE than others. I’m not here to point fingers right now, but I am here to say this…

Please, do your part! No matter how small, or how big, just DO something. The hatred needs to F’n stop! Love is what I choose. So, show a lil compassion, clean up your environment, help out those in need, recycle some things, stop putting yourself above others; we are equals, use a lil less water, show why your side is good; without belittling the other, drive less and ride a bike/walk more, enjoy nature instead of sitting on your computer/phone all day, reach out to loved ones more, pick up that trash on the ground; and place it in the right reciprocal, donate to a good cause, say “HI” to your neighbor or call your cashier by name (they’ll smile, I promise), and just be a better YOU overall. If each of us did our part to be BETTER people, the world around us could be a better place to live. These are small things I’ve suggested, because starting with the small things makes the larger things more accessible; hence viewed as possible, instead of impossible

Lovehughelp… one another! 

It’s easier than you think, and it will change you… It will change you in amazing and wonderful ways! This I know. So let’s all Love not Hate, have Compassion not Disillusionment, Lift Up not Tear Down, and we will become better people, whom will leave a better climate, both politically and environmentally, for our children, and our children’s children. 
It all begins here. Join me, please!

You are not alone! Love you all πŸ’œπŸ’‹MJ 

#FIBROWarriorMyNewNormal Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/FIBROWarriorMNN/

A Poem – “Every Day”

I have to work so hard,

Every day,

For something that comes,

So easily,

For many others…

To be “Happy”

It’s an object, on a pedestal…

A light, that’s just out of reach…

A feeling, that I’ve yet to master…

And a word, that has lost its meaning…

Yet, I try, and try

To be worthy of this object…

To reach this light…

To master this feeling…

To reevaluate it’s meaning…

Every day,

Every day,

Every damn day!

-MJ Aragon

“Why do we have Fibromyalgia?”

Pain/Fibro, Childhood/Adult PTSD, Depression, Anxiety…

Here is the short version, for most of us…

When we are quite young, and have traumatic events occur in our lives, our brains are still developing at that point. So anything like physical/mental/sexual abuse, surgeries, accidents, etc., causes a change in the way our brain developes. Once altered, it is unable to function normally as it should. So we are often left with ongoing issues like childhood/adult PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Fibro; and for some of us, much more. 

Me at around 3 or 4yrs old, I’m guessing… about the time my abuse began.

We go through life after that, often questioning and/or blaming ourselves; for everything that we go through, or that happens to us. When in reality, we are left to feel inadequate, because of the traumas we’ve endured, through no fault of our own. But because this has all been SO misunderstood, we took it ALL on ALONE, in most cases; which comes with it’s own set of guilt rendering issues. Those around us cannot ever truly understand what that is like. We can only hope that they will empathize with, and love us for who WE ARE, not what illnesses we have. 

Love yourself first, the rest will fall into place.

Because of all that we’ve been through…

I know that you are stronger and more loving for it! It is people like us, that makes our former selves (others now going through what we have), feel less alone, understood, and loved because we have truly been where they are.
*This post was inspired by a conversation I just had with a fellow Fibro Warrior named Rosa Elena. I love it when someone asks the questions that inspire me to write posts like this. Thank you!

You are not alone! Love you all πŸ’œπŸ’‹MJ
*This is what I’ve discovered and purely my opinion, after tirelessly researching, medical articles, medical videos, as well as my own questions proposed to others in my FIBRO groups. MJ

The purple haired FIBRO WARRIOR