As I drift off into my only reprieve from my pain and cognitive issues, I often find myself surrounded by a world not unknown to me; but simply an alternate universe, where old friends and new are all harmoniously intertwined amongst me. We are engaged in unusual circumstances; like several of our jobs of yore, coinciding as if it were the norm. For instance, I’ve dreamt of dealing Black Jack (on an actual gaming table) in the middle of the produce department in Vons; a job from my youth mixed in with my 18+ year career as a casino employee.
The most amazing part of this journey is how utterly peaceful I feel. Nothing will interfere with my enjoyment here. Paradise in my mind! Happily going along throughout, bumping into faces I’ve yet to have seen before, as though we’ve been long time friends. Seeing those I’ve lost, engaging in things that are always out of character, yet seem normal in this dreamland of mine. It’s such a pleasure to be in those moments, that I find it hard to avoid wanting to sleep the day away.
Another fantastic aspect of this for me, is that I’m able to go right back into my dream; even if I’ve been awoken by a noise or nature has simply called. I just lay back down, and within moments I’m transported right back where I was; as if it were book marked or paused, awaiting for my expected return. I’m also able to recall my dreams quite vividly at times. And I’m often amazed at the adventures I’ve experienced, whilst on this fantastical escape, traveling all over the world! On some very minute occasions; I’m flying there on my own; flapping my arms about as I ascend into the clear blue sky. This is something I know we’ve all dreamt of once or twice. It used to be quite frequent while I was young, but as I became an adult, those dreams have been replaced by more age appropriate adventures.
Ahh, the feeling of complete euphoria. It calls to me, and I’m immediately transported into another world. If I could only sleep through the pain, without the constant interruptions of tossing, turning, and adjusting my pillow… yet, I am thankful for those moments within my worry free dreams. Always available to me, when I succumb to those three precious hours of real sleep.
Each dream may develope into a new scene with different players; friends, family, strangers, intertwined with unusual events, some recognizable some completely new to me. I’m simply in awe of what our minds are capable of. How it can pick and choose persons, places, things at random, as well as the recent moments you’ve experienced. They move seamlessly, effortlessly along; as though it was perfectly orchestrated by a meticulous director. I feel so utterly privilaged to have these moments, and I hope my fellow warriors may experience this themselves. If it wasn’t for my dreams, my biggest adventures on the daily, would only include my bed and a good movie/book.
I am currently on a flight to Maryland, to visit my favorite aunts and uncle with my mom. We are seated apart, even though I booked us both at the same time, sigh… Feeling anxious; not for myself so much, but because she’s not a huge fan of flying (Acrophobia – fear of heights). So here I sit between two lovely people (Luckily!), writing down my thoughts to share with all of you. I’m so proud of the new relationship I’m forging with my mom, and we’re excited to be on our own little adventure in real life, whatever it may be. I do know we’re definitely going to the beach, it’s our happy place!
*I wrote this over two weeks ago, and had planned on publishing it the next day… but I was thoroughly enjoying my family time, that it just slipped my mind.
My mom and I did get seats together for the longer leg of the flight from Denver to Baltimore, Maryland; and we effortlessly chatted away the time. Unfortunately, the flight home was the opposite outcome; as for the longer leg we were apart, but the final leg from Denver to Palm Springs, California, we were together. We did enjoy watching the 2015 film ‘Solace’, starring Anthony Hopkins, Collin Farrel, and Jeffrey Dean, on my Kindle (a sweet gift from my aunt and uncle). If you’re a fan of any of those actors, you’ll enjoy this film I believe.
I met some very nice and interesting ladies on the flight home; the first was just a year my junior, traveling for work (super sweet and we instantly hit it off), and the other sitting with us both; was upwards from my mom’s age (she was so full of life!). We exchanged info both times, and I hope to keep in contact with them. I’m able to easily talk to strangers without any reservations, it’s a gift I guess; unless they hadn’t wanted to talk to me that is, haha.
I’m limping through my day today… I’m really missing my family already, and being so far from them is awful. The first two days home I was so happy to see My Love, and still feeling up from my trip. But last night and today, I’m just down. Not out though, so don’t worry about me. I’m going to listen to an audio book (in the middle of ‘Moby Dick’), and pulling out my adult coloring book again. This helps me so much! I’ll share the results when I finish the picture. Tah-tah for now!
Wishing you all a lovely pain free day my Fibro Warriors! And remember…
You are not alone… and neither am I!
Love you all 💜💋 MJ