*(Tue 2/13) Updates on my surgery/biopsy at the end of this blog 💜
Hello my warriors 🦋 I’m just checking in…
These last few months have been stressful, to say the least. I’m getting closer to some answers/closure though. Thursday (Feb 8th), I had Doctor appointments as well as a pre-op at the hospital; upcoming Hysteroscopy, my 2nd Biopsy (For more info, I’ve provided a link: https://m.acog.org/Patients/FAQs/Hysteroscopy?IsMobileSet=true), which also included bloodwork, and then more bloodwork at Lab Corp for a different Doctor. Such fun (Insert sarcasm)!
Today (Fri) I had to get an ultrasound of my abdomen, and it was painful, thanks to my Allodynia (for more info: https://americanmigrainefoundation.org/understanding-migraine/allodynia-when-touch-hurts-but-shouldnt/). I’ d hoped to also get my MRI out of the way, but nope, not until Feb19th. My biopsy surgery is this Mon Feb 12th at noon, and I’ll be there for about 3hrs max they said. I guess I’m more stressed than I realized; because I broke down crying at my therapist’s office (Thurs) just out of the blue; it really caught me off guard. I checked my BP when I got home after everything, and it had spiked to 165/98; so I had to take my 2nd BP med. Even if my surgery goes well on Mon, I’ll still be anxious about my MRI. It’s to view my c-spine, due to a brain shear/injury from a car accident (double rearended 6-19-13) (for more info: https://www.brainline.org/video/understanding-nuances-shearing-injuries-brain), more on this later, once I get more information from the results. Just knowing I have a brain shear/injury (discovered Jan 8th) is weighing heavily on me. I’m trying to keep it together, so as to not worry anyone, but internalizing it isn’t doing me any favors; so I finally told My Love Bill (Fri, a month later). He was really quiet afterwards, so I just started talking about other things, to get his mind back on the comedy show he had later that night. We had a good night overall, but my pain kept increasing as the night progressed. My migraine was triggered from the loud music after the show, and my neck/shoulders/back became so tense, that I began to feel that burning sensation.
I woke up today still feeling like crap, but I had to get ready for my final appointment of the week. It went smoothly, sort of, and I decided to grab a few things from the store on my way home. While there I ran into a friend of ours, talked for a bit, and during our conversation, I could feel some tightening in my chest; suddenly I felt nauseated, clammy, lightheaded… my migraine went from a minor annoyance, to full blown in an instant. Dammit! I had been in the store for way too long, seems the fluorescent lights did their dirty work again. Needless to say I went straight home afterwards, and I’ve been in horrible shape all night. My neck brace went on; to keep it immobile, hoping it would help take some pressure off, thus allow the migraine to lessen. I’m now at a 7, instead of a 10, progress…
My Love and I talked more about my worries tonight, and as always he was very supportive. I just hate adding this burden to his shoulders, because he already does so much for us. It’s so difficult to weigh what to share and what to hold on to at times, because we never want to overwhelm our loved ones. Often we hang on to more than any one person should, imagining that we can “Do it all on our own…” when we really can’t, nor should we! It’s ok to as for help. I even have to remind myself of this, clearly (sigh). I’m still working on this, and I’ve come a very long way, so there’s that. Keeping this struggle to myself was my life’s work, so when I began to open up about all of it, these last few years, it was extremely difficult. But as time has gone on, I realized that sharing helped others, hence why I do what l do today. You guys all help to keep me strong, by knowing that you count on me, and that I may count on you in return. My journey isn’t over yet! I’m sending big, yet gentle, hugs to each and everyone of you.
You’re not alone… and neither am I!
Love you all 💜💋 MJ
*(Tue 2/13) Latest surgery/biopsy updates:
Hello everyone! This was not a Hysterectomy, just a Hysteroscopy/biopsy, to find out if I have cancer first. The Dr performing my Hysterectomy will be pending on this biopsy surgeries findings. So it will be either my gyno, or an Oncologist. So we’re not done yet. I get my results on Feb 22nd 💜
*(Mon) Update: Everything went well. My hips were killing me from the position I was in during surgery. And of course my stomach is a bit achey, but I’m crazy drowsy most of all. Can barely keep my eyes open. Just getting some rest now, and My Love is taking good care of me. Love and hugs 💞
*(Mon) This morning: Heading to the hospital for my biopsy/surgery shortly. I just wanted to drop in and say, “Thank You, for all of your love and support! I love you all so much!” 💜💋MJ
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